Misplaced
I am the world's biggest idiot. I lost the necklace my fwend gave me. She's been my friend for 16 years and we don't talk that much anymore coz i m in australia and she's in new zealand. 16 years! What hav i done?
I know this is perhaps not true but I realli feel that necklace is the last thing I could preserve of our friendship. She has changed so much, yet she is still the same. She is the same generous girl I knew yet at the same time, she's so much more messed up. I havent talked to her for a year and last time that I talked to her, it's a sad realization of how much we have both screwed up. A realization that the world is completely out of our control and how the people who created us have the potential to destroy us. I feel like I am holding onto a friendship so similar to unacquitted love, I wonder if I am as much important to her as she is to me. No, I am not a homosexual, but its just when I was little and being stupid, she was always there for me. She saw the bad side of me and probably one of the few people who has witnessed almost all aspects of my personality and actually accepts me for that. She saw my change to someone I still dont know for better or worse. Most of all, I was able to cry in front of her.
We used to always be compared and she was seen as the bad apple. However, realistically, I m the one with the destructive personality. While she sees the satisfaction in everything and has the purest soul, I wanted everything and found no satisfaction in return. I didnt understand the facade of materialistic success yet she did. Yet this strive for materialistic wealth, it has become so much of me. Even though I hav improved so much since then, I could never value people the way she does. The unconditional love she gives to her mother who has been one of the least kind person to her. I will never measure up to her. How do you judge the quality of sumone? By their grades? In all honesty,despite her actions, at least her heart is sincere while mine is near black.
I know this is perhaps not true but I realli feel that necklace is the last thing I could preserve of our friendship. She has changed so much, yet she is still the same. She is the same generous girl I knew yet at the same time, she's so much more messed up. I havent talked to her for a year and last time that I talked to her, it's a sad realization of how much we have both screwed up. A realization that the world is completely out of our control and how the people who created us have the potential to destroy us. I feel like I am holding onto a friendship so similar to unacquitted love, I wonder if I am as much important to her as she is to me. No, I am not a homosexual, but its just when I was little and being stupid, she was always there for me. She saw the bad side of me and probably one of the few people who has witnessed almost all aspects of my personality and actually accepts me for that. She saw my change to someone I still dont know for better or worse. Most of all, I was able to cry in front of her.
We used to always be compared and she was seen as the bad apple. However, realistically, I m the one with the destructive personality. While she sees the satisfaction in everything and has the purest soul, I wanted everything and found no satisfaction in return. I didnt understand the facade of materialistic success yet she did. Yet this strive for materialistic wealth, it has become so much of me. Even though I hav improved so much since then, I could never value people the way she does. The unconditional love she gives to her mother who has been one of the least kind person to her. I will never measure up to her. How do you judge the quality of sumone? By their grades? In all honesty,despite her actions, at least her heart is sincere while mine is near black.
posted by lalabird at 12:07 AM
3 Comments:
Life is simple my dear, no matter how seriously you view it, the conclusion wil always be that it is simple at the end,
sometimes, what is meant to be is meant to be.
People come and go, long periods, short periods, it's the composition of life that makes it colourful.
What is lost is lost, but no 1 said you can never regain it again.
Everything is judged, nothing is insignificant
:)
i bid thee goodnight
<3 Cat
Life is simple? Darling you hav no idea. Everyone is 3-dimensional and simplicity is a mere linear or 2-dimensional representation. Yet 3-dimensional, there is depth and the unknown; you can stare at one side of the surface but beware my dear, of the sides you can never see. Nothing is simply what it seems to be.
"everyone is equal but some are just more equal than others" - Animal Farm.
"Nothing is insignificant but some are just more insignificant than others" - A confused teenager
everything has it's depths and unknowns, thats why... they are all the same
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